Adult Toys

I’m rearranging my apartment. This apartment is a little bigger and very comfortable for me, although still not very big. I decided to move my computer desk out of my bedroom. My girlfriend and I celebrated our very much earned two year anniversary a couple of weeks ago which prompted my new arrangement. We stayed in the bed at a hotel in Columbus on Sunday morning and watched animal planet for at least four hours. It was one of the more relaxing moments for me this year. I don’t lay around at all, hence the real reason for my lack of real rest—we’re working on that.

The TV was a 42 inch HD flat panel, so I decided I needed one, or at least something similar. I am not so nerdy that I rebuke the notion of TV completely. I don’t submerge in it, but even if I did, I’m not so “deep” as to not admit it. I figured a 32 inch HD flat screen will do the trick. I am not home much, but when I am I’d like to lay in bed and perhaps watch animal planet with Holly again. Shit, I have always wondered what family guy would look like in high def. I am even contemplating buying a blu ray disc player. Why not? I’m 30, it’s about time for some adult toys.

Grateful

When I moved back to Ohio in 2002, I didn’t have a bed. A friend of mine was kind enough to let me crash at his crib until I found a place. I moved from there and found a place of my own. I slept on the floor at night with two not-so fluffy pillows, trying to achieve a bit of comfort in the evening. I was blessed to receive a second hand futon for about $25 from a co-worker, and slept on that for the five years I lived in my small apartment. Amid back pains and some sleepless nights, I never complained. I never really contemplated purchasing a bed either, because between work and school, I was just happy to have a roof over my head.

Fast forward.

I came home from work last night. Since I graduated from Cleveland State, I have been working two jobs; it is perhaps a familiar tradition that I picked up from my dad. I come home tired most nights, and my two little boys (read, kittens) look at me disappointed that I spend so much time away. As I went to hang up my shirt in my closet, I looked over to my bed and broke down with unbelievable thankfulness in my heart. I purchased it a few months back. It was the first bed I have ever had in my adult life—I’m going to 30 in October. For the first time last night, I looked at it and smiled and told myself how thankful I am just to have a bed.

When you think about all of the small things you struggle to get, there are times when you have to just break down an be thankful for them. The thought of it left held back tears in my eyes.

I had good dreams last night.

The World WILL NOT end tonight.

When we want to be physically healthy, we find strategic methods that enhance our physical function. Often we are assisted with self help books, videos and various internet sites to fuel our passion for our health goals. Most times our point by point plans are successful and we gain strength, lose weight and increase our energy. Our research and dedication leads us to better food choices and we begin to sift those things that are generally unhealthy for us. There are still many of us who fail in our efforts to modify our physical health. Sometimes there is an obsession that attaches itself to our dietary and physical regimens, and instead of achieving our goals, we become victim to the dissatisfaction of our exterior selves.

Like most machines our bodies work from the inside out. A flawless exterior pales in comparison to a well oiled engine. Buffing out scratches on the hood of your car won’t make the noise in the engine go away. Many of us buff out the scratches of our own exterior in an effort to overshadow the rattling and loose engines of our inner-selves. Unsuccessful attempts at masquerading our external blemishes only allows us to further ignore a more urgent problem. The urgent problem in most cases is a spiritual imbalance. As we are fast approaching a rapidly changing society, it is imperative that we do some internal shifting of spiritual gears. Our lives cannot be sustained by beauty alone, and it is important, now more than ever that we become more critical of our overall well being.

It is perhaps easier said than done. There are many people who will tell you about how frequently they attend church or how often they pray, yet they still are void of their desired result; I am not passing judgment. It is true however, that we can loop ourselves into ineffective routines literally escaping spiritual balance. Personally, achieving spiritual balance is challenging. Everyday life happenings tend to be a distraction and we often forfeit our spiritual knowledge and wisdom, giving into our lower selves. It can be done easily and often.

We are all connected. I say this all of the time because I am so fascinated as to how the universe works and how it is working now. The future is not bleak and the world is not ending, but the challenges that are ahead require us as spirituals beings to also change. The era of selfishness has to end with you and I. We have to care for ourselves not just as individuals but as a collective. In doing that we should learn how to partner up with each other, support each other even across religious doctrines. There are some church organization that will tell you to find “prayer partners.” This is an admirable idea that we should all perhaps ponder. There is power in numbers, and this method of spiritual maintenance has the potential to heal the very things we all thought impossible.

In these times when banks are failing, jobs are being lost and people are without health care, we need to be in a space where we are seeking sincere balance, not just in our physical bodies, but in our spiritual bodies as well. As we polish and wax ourselves, we must also take our spirits in for daily tune ups, because as we journey ahead towards a rewarding future, the drive will be a bit bumpy.

Politics as Usual

Politics is one thing that I generally stay away from. That is, in a way unfortunate, since politics in one way or another affect everything that you and I do.

Election year is always filled with excitement, strategy and stupidity. This year we all got a few hard-ons from one or two Barack Obama speeches. Some of us cried, and many of our elders sat in their sits and lay in their beds full of pride and admiration. The clock still ticks on whether or not the pride is in vain or indeed valid. January will be telling.

I’ll wait.

Then there is John Mccain.
I respect my elders and I encourage young people to do the same. I am not one to promote ageism, because in many ways elders are way more valuable and resourceful than some of our youthful zealots. I am a youthful zealot, so I take full responsibility for the label.

My issue with John Mccain has never been his age. He, like many politicians is out of touch with reality and real people. Choosing Sarah Palin as a running mate was more of an insult to women than intelligent strategy. The choice was made to offset his age and reel in disgruntled Hilary supporters. Mccain clearly thinks women are stupid or he is simply stupid for thinking his master plan is worthy of accolades.

I didn’t watch the DNC. Barack has become quite the spectacle. I suppose I believe his intentions are good and he will make good on all his promises, whatever those promises are. I have grown tired of speeches and would rather hear more about the comprehensive measures he is willing to implement to create this “change” America has been so up and arms about lately. I’m not saying he is a bullshit artist, but I am sure he has taken a couple of classes.

This moment is historical in many ways, but also smells like the same shit. I hate election year, because politicians lie more. Pay people off more—and play you and I for the fool more. We fall for whatever because we need to believe that there is at least one politician who is not like the others, who cares enough to provide us with the things we need.

I can assure you I will not watch the RNC. They don’t just take classes, they are professional bullshit artists.