In relationships we want things to mostly work in a way that makes us happy, and why not? When we are challenged within our relationships and our happiness is compromised, we search for solutions with our partners. Most couples put effort into finding unified happiness. This is what we do, but this I not what we should be doing. Happiness is not something you ever find in someone else. Happiness is something that you already have, something that you should already be experiencing for yourself. Love is the same way, it is something that you should already have, and when you fall in love it is an extension of the love that you already have for yourself. Love is never lost at the conclusion of a relationship—at least it shouldn’t be.
Loving someone does not mean that you are with them forever. I never plan for forever with any of my partners, because forever is a challenging obstacle. You can be so busy planning for forever that you forget the right now. The root of commitment these days is painted with gold rings, houses and dream vacations. I am committed to you because I live with you. I am committed to you because I bought a house with you. I am committed to you because I put this ring on your finger. These flimsy reminders of commitment sometimes bring turmoil and most times never achieves the safeness of forever. We don’t take the time out to appreciate our partners today, in this moment, because we are so self assured that they will be there tomorrow. We take their love for granted because we KNOW they will be there forever, so we’ll get back to loving them in a couple of weeks. That is how we treat the love we extend to our partners. There should not be any “honeymoon phase.” Why can’t there always be a honeymoon? We say love is work, and we treat it like a job instead of a unique gift and experience. We want to bottle it up and place a label on it that reads “mine.” We toss our partners and lovers in these jars, confining them to a lifetime of our “oh so ever good loving.” These formulated templates of how relationships should look and feel are often bullshit—sorry.
When you point the finger at a lover to say “you don’t love me,” “I’m angry because you don’t love me anymore.” What you are really saying is “I don’t love me.” “I’m angry at myself for not loving me anymore.” We want to take our partners on these guilt trips which they are not responsible for. The reason we are so conflicted in romantic relationships is because we refuse to wrap ourselves in the comfort of self-love. There is NO peace in pain. You can’t find peace in other people. Someone’s smile, or touch or letter may make you feel happy and momentarily put you at peace, but those things only elucidate the peace that you have within or remind you of the potential of the peace you have yet to acquire.
We have to love people right now. If the handful of deaths last month taught us anything at all, it is forever is not promised, but this moment exists right now.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Love is? Part I
Love is perhaps the greatest conundrum known to man. We speak of it in flowery terms, how it makes us feel mostly, and what it makes us do. When we are down we chant the word “love” in an effort to transform ourselves into the person we daydream about becoming. It is a puzzle to most how such a word that is often signified as something good, finds union with the words “hurt” and “pain.” It makes me wonder if anyone really knows what love is at all, if love is so ambiguous that we settle for its feeling as opposed to the entirety of what it is.
I had a conversation recently with my ex, and in that conversation, of all things, I accused her and she accused me of various incidences of selfishness. We agree that we are not selfish people by nature, but we engaged in decisions and actions that were selfish. Initially I ducted and denied these accusations. They came in the form of pain that I did not want to be accountable for, especially since I knew how much I loved her and how much I felt I had worked at the relationship. I did not want to feel vilified. But in a moment of complete exhalation, I professed my selfishness. I indeed was selfish in many moments, of course not to specifically hurt her, but to acquire a piece of love I felt I needed from her or for me.
Losing the “feeling” of love often creates doubt about the existence of love. When love dynamics fail, that doesn’t mean that love failed or that it somehow dissolved into pain and hurt. In order for love to become something else, something painful, it means that it was fooling us all along; I don’t believe that. I do believe that love means the same things to most people, and if we took the time to survey each other, we will find the same adjectives used continuously to fulfill the definition of love.
I found that love was never my problem really. I loved her and she loved me. I wanted love to feel a certain way between us, and selfishly, I wasn’t necessarily concerned if our notes matched up, or were even close. She needed love to feel a certain way between us as well; she knew how love felt for her and that is what she desired from me.
I am realizing that love is more than a feeling. Feelings come and go, where as love never does. Confusing feelings for the fabric of what love is often gets us in trouble, often makes us angry, and often severs romantic ties--unfortunately.
I had a conversation recently with my ex, and in that conversation, of all things, I accused her and she accused me of various incidences of selfishness. We agree that we are not selfish people by nature, but we engaged in decisions and actions that were selfish. Initially I ducted and denied these accusations. They came in the form of pain that I did not want to be accountable for, especially since I knew how much I loved her and how much I felt I had worked at the relationship. I did not want to feel vilified. But in a moment of complete exhalation, I professed my selfishness. I indeed was selfish in many moments, of course not to specifically hurt her, but to acquire a piece of love I felt I needed from her or for me.
Losing the “feeling” of love often creates doubt about the existence of love. When love dynamics fail, that doesn’t mean that love failed or that it somehow dissolved into pain and hurt. In order for love to become something else, something painful, it means that it was fooling us all along; I don’t believe that. I do believe that love means the same things to most people, and if we took the time to survey each other, we will find the same adjectives used continuously to fulfill the definition of love.
I found that love was never my problem really. I loved her and she loved me. I wanted love to feel a certain way between us, and selfishly, I wasn’t necessarily concerned if our notes matched up, or were even close. She needed love to feel a certain way between us as well; she knew how love felt for her and that is what she desired from me.
I am realizing that love is more than a feeling. Feelings come and go, where as love never does. Confusing feelings for the fabric of what love is often gets us in trouble, often makes us angry, and often severs romantic ties--unfortunately.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wisdom from Thich Nhat Hanh
We are afraid of death because ignorance gives us an illusory idea about what death is. We are disturbed by ideas of existence and nonexistence because we have not understood the true nature of impermanence and nonself. We worry about our own future, but we fail to worry about the future of the other because we think that our happiness has nothing to do with the happiness of the other.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
-Thich Nhat Hanh
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Cross
I have a very concise list of things that are important to me. As I mature, the foundation of those things are specifically spiritual. I operate my life in constant awareness of my actions, whether they are helping me grow spiritually or hindering the process all together. It goes without saying that I do make conscious decisions that clearly do not align my spirit with my overall spiritual objectives, and that’s cool.
I’ve always had a slight obsession with being a “good” person. “Good” is subjective, but in general people identified as “good” characteristically share similar values. I have never had a natural desire to be malicious, and even when defending myself I am left with residual guilt even if my words are sharp and justified.
There is a sense of nobility that is felt when circumstances require our unwavering dedication, even if that means that we are neglecting ourselves in the process. For many of us, we hold on to a crippling idea of care that often leaves us more frustrated than redeemed. We do care what people think, and most of us put our best foot forward because of that—and that’s great.
Good people know they’re good people and don’t have to work so hard at it; it comes naturally. It is a component of their character that is often infectious and easy to identify. Guilt should never drive our desire to do good. We do good because good is in us.
As people we have transformed manipulation into a pure science, and because of that sometimes we are beguiled by the pitiful cries and needs of our loved ones. We bend and often break in an effort to not seem like assholes, not seem like we don’t care, and we are pulled into this cycle of self neglect that is not fitting for our personal growth. Dying for the sins or the flat out irresponsibility and insensitivity of our peers and loved ones will not get us a first class seat into heaven. It is NOT admirable for people to step on your toes in the name of goodness. We can still be fighters and peacemakers, as long as our fights are defensive and we are in a battle to love ourselves.
I’ve always had a slight obsession with being a “good” person. “Good” is subjective, but in general people identified as “good” characteristically share similar values. I have never had a natural desire to be malicious, and even when defending myself I am left with residual guilt even if my words are sharp and justified.
There is a sense of nobility that is felt when circumstances require our unwavering dedication, even if that means that we are neglecting ourselves in the process. For many of us, we hold on to a crippling idea of care that often leaves us more frustrated than redeemed. We do care what people think, and most of us put our best foot forward because of that—and that’s great.
Good people know they’re good people and don’t have to work so hard at it; it comes naturally. It is a component of their character that is often infectious and easy to identify. Guilt should never drive our desire to do good. We do good because good is in us.
As people we have transformed manipulation into a pure science, and because of that sometimes we are beguiled by the pitiful cries and needs of our loved ones. We bend and often break in an effort to not seem like assholes, not seem like we don’t care, and we are pulled into this cycle of self neglect that is not fitting for our personal growth. Dying for the sins or the flat out irresponsibility and insensitivity of our peers and loved ones will not get us a first class seat into heaven. It is NOT admirable for people to step on your toes in the name of goodness. We can still be fighters and peacemakers, as long as our fights are defensive and we are in a battle to love ourselves.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Off To Chicago...
Well, I am on my way out the door. I am going to kidnap some nuts, fruit and some water and take that almost six hour drive to Chicago. I had reconsidered my trip for a lot of reason, but now I am looking forward to it. I am hoping to take a lot of pictures this time.
I hope everyone has a safe holiday weekend. I plan to stay completely out of trouble and enjoy my time with a couple of friend and some fam.
Peace and GREASE!
I hope everyone has a safe holiday weekend. I plan to stay completely out of trouble and enjoy my time with a couple of friend and some fam.
Peace and GREASE!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Another ISFJ Analysis
Sorry---this stuff is just very interesting to me!
ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)
ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.
In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.
While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives.
ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.
Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.
ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)
ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.
In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.
While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives.
ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.
Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.
Personality Test Results (ISFJ)
Portrait of an ISFJ - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging(Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Feeling)
The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted SensingAuxilliary: Extraverted FeelingTertiary: Introverted ThinkingInferior: Extraverted Intuition
_______________________________________
Myers-Briggs description
According to Myers-Briggs, ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others’ feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy.
Keirsey description
According to Keirsey, ISFJs, or "Protector Guardians", are most concerned with taking care of people by keeping them safe and secure. They are modest caretakers who do not demand credit or thanks for their efforts. But while they are essentially very compassionate—and in fact exercise more patience in dealing with the disabled than perhaps any other type—their shyness with strangers can lead others to misread them as standoffish. Only among friends and family may this quiet type feel comfortable speaking freely. ISFJs are serious people with a strong work ethic, not inclined to self-indulgence. They believe in being meticulous and thrifty. They work well alone. While they may enjoy taking care of others, they do not enjoy giving orders.
The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted SensingAuxilliary: Extraverted FeelingTertiary: Introverted ThinkingInferior: Extraverted Intuition
_______________________________________
Myers-Briggs description
According to Myers-Briggs, ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others’ feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy.
Keirsey description
According to Keirsey, ISFJs, or "Protector Guardians", are most concerned with taking care of people by keeping them safe and secure. They are modest caretakers who do not demand credit or thanks for their efforts. But while they are essentially very compassionate—and in fact exercise more patience in dealing with the disabled than perhaps any other type—their shyness with strangers can lead others to misread them as standoffish. Only among friends and family may this quiet type feel comfortable speaking freely. ISFJs are serious people with a strong work ethic, not inclined to self-indulgence. They believe in being meticulous and thrifty. They work well alone. While they may enjoy taking care of others, they do not enjoy giving orders.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)