I watched a movie called, No Strings Attached. It was a random movie selection that I vaguely remember coming out in movie theaters. It was a funny movie. I do like movies where the comedy doesn’t necessary have to be smart. I’m partial to goofy shit.
Aston Kutcher and Natalie Portman played a couple who met when they were pre-teens. The movie starts with Aston asking Natalie if he can finger her. She says, no. The movie then follows them throughout the years running into each other by chance until one time they run into each other and eventually have sex. Natalie wants to keep it casual while Aston struggles, creating uncomfortable and goofy encounters between the two in public. The shit was fucking hilarious, actually. Although it was clear Natalie was developing deeper feelings for Aston, she tried very hard to keep it under wraps, even telling Aston they can’t sleep with each other until they agree to sleep with other people. Aston finds two women to sleep with (they were actually more interested in sleeping with each other), and brings them back to his house. Natalie ends up at his house that night and scares off the girls. Near the end, Aston confesses that he really wants more (and it was clear she did too, but couldn’t bring herself to disclose her feelings), she couldn’t deal and he started to move on with his life---until she realized, in an emotional scene that only Hollywood can create, that she loves him and wants him, and of course they live happily ever after.
That shit happens every day and unfortunately the “happily ever after” scenarios are few and far in between. Loving anyone requires fearlessness. All of these rules and regulations we place on love to find the ideal partner for us a lot of times leaves us with a broken heart. If you’re not ready to love completely, don’t initiate the process at all.
No strings romances can be great--a lot of sex, and a lot of fun. But if you’re really not ready for strings, even the smallest and shortest of strings, reposition your intention, and make sure your partner knows. If your heart is falling for someone, there may be a reason why. It may really be love. Love doesn’t always show up in its dedicated uniform, but it’s love nonetheless, sometimes unannounced, sometimes when we aren't prepared.
I have had no strings relationships before, most started and ended that way, but there were a couple that ended capturing my heart and flowering into something deeper. My experiences with love and romance have taught me to love fearlessly. Love with all of yourself or don’t love at all. If you’re not ready for everything that comes with that, good and bad, then—you’re not ready and you certainly should drag other folks around selfishly for the ride.